Pitchfork is full of dumb

This is why I hate pitchfork.

Their editorial style is about two (tiny) steps above myspace. 

I think it goes without saying that I think a real editorial style is a good thing.

I can Just imagine the creation process for this ad. “Should we make it ‘WTF!!!!!!!!111111’ or just ‘WTF!!!!!!!!’?”

At this point I read the damn site just because I don’t want to miss the (some) of the news they report. I have to sift through their cutesy bullshit and indie-posturing crap all because I don’t want to miss bands playing near me. I mustn’t forget to mention, in this ad, how they are downplaying their influence. “OMG! RADIOHEAD IS PLAYING FOR OUR LITTLE STUPID WEBSITE THAT NOBODY READS!” Fuck you, and also, fuck you. How did you get so important? How did this happen? I would love you if you didn’t have such an insufferable attitude about everything. 

Also, I think that hipsters, as we know them in the 00s, wouldn’t exist without Pitchfork. I can’t really back that up, but I would love to be able to prove it some day.

I bet they have meetings where they tell writers to submit less professional writing. I just know it’s true. It has to be, or my fragile little world would collapse.

famous bloggers

I’m really sick of hearing about your stupid kid. Ok?

blogs

I really dislike seeing this on a blog:

“Check out the rest of our [whatever] after the jump.”

This is annoying for at least 5 reasons:

1. This is intended to let people know that there is more content in the “full” blog post as opposed to the “summary.” The only problem is that I often only read the full blog posts, because I am directed to the blog - not from the frontpage - but from another website that links to the full post. To me, this is just annoying and makes me want to stop reading your worthless blog.

2. “the jump” - who decided to call it this? It sounds fucking idiotic.

3. This can be done in a much more effective way, and I know it, I’ve seen it in blog software. You could have a simple “read the full entry” or “read more” or even, god forbid, “read more after the jump” programmed as the text to the link to the full entry, which would GO AWAY when you get there. The only difference is that you don’t get to customize it per page. No more “check out more of my stupid useless links to free software you already know about after the jump” or “see more pictures of my stupid cat after the jump.” Big fucking loss.

4. One of the advantages of a blog/cms is that your content isn’t necessarily tied to the html - potentially, your writing could be formatted for a new blogging system, or a book, or whatever the internet will become in 30 years. The point is, you’d have to go back in and take that out, because you’re a fucking moron. Look toward the future.

5. I’ve never understood why you would want to do this in the first place. What’s so wrong with just having the full post on the main page? Maybe your stupid content aggregator/evil alien overlord of a boss forces you to comply with some arcane ad placement algorithm. I don’t care, the point is -

Don’t do it. It’s dumb, and it makes you look dumb.